On my way home from the gym this morning, a delicately graceful butter-yellow butterfly crossed my path, just slightly ahead of me in the road.  I was alone in the car and on the road, so I didn’t hesitate to slow down and let her pass safely by, as she danced care-free ahead of me.

She was in no hurry to get to her destination, and I smiled at how her refined beauty had commanded me and my big vehicle to stop for her tiny little self.

In fact, I smiled the rest of the way home, as I drove slowly (which my being alone on the neighborhood road allowed me to do, without impeding anyone else’s mad-rush), and I took in all of the rich green palms, bursting fuchsia crepe myrtles, and majestic evergreens that touched the seamless blue sky.

Not only did I take in all of those living, vibrant colors – I felt true appreciation and awe for them!  As I did, I could feel my own energy and happiness rising, as Nature shared hers with me.  And I thought to myself how this natural energy boost was way better than the Grande Non-Fat Mocha caffeine-charge I had almost talked myself into picking up on the way home.

I am so grateful to that little butterfly-messenger today, who said with its dance, “Hey Lynn, take a “brake” for a moment, and look at this!  It’s pretty amazing, huh!”

I have recently been more consciously focused than ever on doing more of just that – finding peace and fulfillment through slowing down and really tuning into, observing, embracing, and honoring all of the evolving aspects of my Self and this blessing-filled life that I live.

How fitting that this little perfect symbol of evolution – a dancing yellow butterfly – so effortlessly reminded me that the easiest and most elegant path to contentment and flow is through daily appreciation and gratitude, and that inspirational reminders of this simple guidance surround us.  We just need to slow down enough every now and then to let their magic feed our souls!

When I picked my daughters up from an afternoon summer camp recently, they told me about a girl there who had suggested that my younger daughter should ignore her Big Sis and not be her friend.

Big Sis: “Like anyone could really come between us – we’re sisters!”

Little Sis: “Yeah, nothing can come between sisters.” (just as conversational and matter of fact as if she’d said, “The sky is blue, you know.”)

I have always told my girls how blessed they each are to have a sister because they will always have a built-in playmate and “bestest” forever-friend.

It is so amazing and rewarding as their mom to see that unique sisterly bond growing and strengthening between them. That closeness is even more gratifying for me, as a girl who grew up without my own big sister to share sweet secrets with and have there to help guide me along my way. My own Big Sis passed away as a toddler 3 ½ years before I was born, and it is a space I have always held in my heart. I remember my heart literally aching while I missed her so much growing up.

Even now, I wonder what our relationship would be like and what adventures we would reminisce about today if we had been able to share our lives with each other. I love my three brothers dearly, but I will always miss my sister that I never personally got to meet and laugh with.

Nothing could make me happier than to see my daughters share the kind of sisterhood that I always wished for.

(Me: “Nothing can come between them – they’re sisters!” And that special journey has only just begun!)

Feelin’ Hot, Hot, Hot!

Summertime heat can make even the best moms wilt at the thought of cooking. Don’t let summertime meals get you hot under the collar! Check-out these no-sweat summer recipes!

http://busycooks.about.com/od/summerrecipesandmenus/a/toohotcook.htm

Keep your cool & Enjoy!

A few absolute “givens” of life as a mom during the Summer: Lots of outdoor fun; a freezer well-stocked with yogurt squeezables, ice cream, and/or popsicles; extra kids running in and out; bottles and bottles of sunscreen; added “beach towel” laundry loads; and the always-dreaded yet completely anticipated “Mom, I’m bored!” exclamations.

The inevitable whine of the “I’m b-o-o-o-r-e-d…” complaint occurred unusually early at our house this summer. It came from my older daughter (of course, under the ever-watchful eye of my younger daughter, taking it all in) before school was even formally over, on a final half-day.

Normally, this behavior would have taken about a millisecond to get under my skin, but not this time.

This summer, I was prepared.

Upon the submission of the first “There’s nothing to do” grievance, I calmly replied that our first “official” rule of summer was that any “I’m boreds” would be my signal that someone needed something to do right away, to end their suffering. () I would have a full list of chores on-hand, and be ready and willing to dole out whatever chore I chose, since an “I’m bored” would immediately eliminate the complainer’s option of choosing, bartering, or otherwise discussing the available chore options. I told my daughter, whose eyebrows were raised as she tried to completely take in my quick yet casual reply, that since this was her first time hearing of the new rule, she could choose to go find something else to do as a one-time freebie, or I’d be happy to let her know her To-Do item.

Needless to say, off she went, with an “I’ll take the freebie” and “My Mom’s a little crazy” half-grin on her face, while her little sis wasn’t far behind (probably thinking that she best avoid any potential residual chore-delegating)! And that was that – not a single “I’m bored” whine has echoed through our halls since.

Did I actually have a pre-made To-Do list especially for “I’m bored” delegation? No. But, I am 1000% confident that I’ll be able to whip something up on the fly should the need arise over the course of the coming summer weeks! I know my kids share that same confidence in my abilities, so I am expecting a pretty “I’m bored”-less summer! Sometimes its extra-fun being Mom!!

Pretty much the entire day on Saturday, my younger daughter was by Daddy’s side, working together on project Ely Girl Clubhouse. Without complaint, she made ice water runs, held beams, and even helped tighten a few screws. They were blessed with morning shade for most of the first half of the day, which made the upper 90 degree heat and 2000% humidity a little more tolerable!

A little girl taking pride in hers and Daddy’s work!  Priceless! (Big Sis made a few “checking on the progress” and water-run visits as well, but unfortunately missed the photo opps.)

A little pre-lunch break, admiring their work, and imagining all of the fun that awaits her, Big Sis, and their friends once the Ely Girl Clubhouse is complete! (That’s Daddy’s elbow in the bottom left corner – still sawing boards and continuing to work the entire rest of the afternoon in the crazy-hot sun and humidity.)

That’s one dedicated Daddy! We’re so lucky to have him!!

Building Dreams & Memories

My husband Bill loves to build things.  Planning and building things for his family serves as a creative outlet for him – one that he doesn’t get to enjoy very often any more, with all of his global travel and busy-family weekends.

Except for this Summer – this Summer has been a backyard building Summer so far, and my husband has literally been pouring his “all” into building his little girls a backyard swing set and tree house play land.

We hired some help to assist with the swing set, which came with a set of hired-help issues all its own.  But, as we’ve learned to do with so many things in our life in recent years, we let go of sweating the small stuff and let a “good enough” amazing swing set be good enough.

Already, the new swingin’ addition to the Ely family has served as the stage for many special talks with our girls – sharing that comes easily and naturally with the beautiful Lowcountry marsh-view and breezes, just as the sun sets and the early evening peacefulness settles in.

The deck railing, house walls, and must-have porch rocking chairs will be added in coming weeks.

It has been said that gratitude is the mother of joy, so Mother’s Day month seems like the perfect time to practice building the gratitude habits that will allow us to commit to regularly taking time to focus on all that we are grateful for, even (and especially) when it would be much easier to focus on the inconveniences and distractions of our everyday lives.

So, how about it: What are you grateful for?

Well, I made a list… not a To-Do list, which we moms are all so adept at, but a Gratitude list, and here’s what I came up with:

• I am grateful that my daughters still think Mommy-snuggles are so special.
• I am grateful that my husband is my best friend who believes in me and my dreams.
• I am grateful for family and friends who “get me” and truly want the best for me.
• I am grateful that I can be genuinely happy for others and truly want the best for them.
• I am grateful for all of the opportunities I have created and been blessed with in my life.
• I am grateful that I always know I am loved and know that I am deserving of that love.
• I am grateful that my Dad passed along his wisdom and sense of humor.
• I am grateful for all of the new relationships that continue to bless my life, and the endless possibilities to grow, learn, and share that they bring with them.
• I am grateful for the biggest challenges that Life’s presented me, as I’ve been blessed with the ability to trustingly know each one has a meaningful purpose, even if they may come with initial pain.
• I am grateful to be able to enjoy my world with all of my senses.
• I am grateful that my children teach me more about Life every day.
• I am grateful for being able to recognize and savor those “Life is perfectly as it should be” moments of pure contentment (and that I am remembering to enjoy those moments much more often).

Of course, this is not a complete list, but it is what I feel in my heart at this moment, and tuning into these grateful feelings provides an instant boost of energy and joy.  Although gratitude is a very simple gift, it is not always easy to practice.  We all have times where we experience negative emotions, fear, anger, doubt, and the like. However, the value of gratitude is absolutely precious – since it is impossible to focus on both a thankful thought and negative thought at the same time, choosing to focus on gratitude is the fast-track to happiness, fulfillment, contentment, and hopefulness.

And, it is a gift that is topped off with all of the smiles and heartfelt warmth that it brings when it is shared freely with others!  A gift that allows us personal happiness as well as a joyful connection to others – and it is available to each of us, in limitless supply, at any time!

Happy Mother’s Month, and I am truly grateful that you are sharing this moment with me!

(This is a re-post from one I did around this time last year – I thought it was a perfect reminder for me now, and I hope you find it helpful as well!  Can you believe it is almost time for the kids to be out of school again?  It isn’t about getting it all perfect – it’s about remembering to have fun while we’re doing it – and why not feel great about including our family in the process!)

I made an “executive decision” this past week to shift gears a bit and slow down a little for the summer.  I had been super-busy the past few weeks with some business projects and work in general, and I was finding myself stressed-out, over-tired, and increasingly overwhelmed.  I had started to stray from my commitment to and philosophy of building my career and business around my desired lifestyle, rather than letting my career and business overtake my life.  It is all about balance, and I had started to slip down the slippery slope of working and e-mailing until all hours of the night, skipping the gym, not spending as much time as I would like playing with my kids during the day, multi-multi-tasking, and taking absolutely no time to focus on my own self-care.  For a brief while there, I wasn’t enjoying my work as much as usual, I wasn’t enjoying my moodiness and exhaustion, and I am sure that my family wasn’t enjoying me that much either.  To top it all off, I was feeling hypocritical because I wasn’t following my own advice – moms need to make themselves a priority in their own lives.

Then, over the course of a few days, it seemed the Universe was knocking me upside the head, like in those “I shoulda had a V-8” commercials.  I was receiving the message repeatedly (from what I was feeling, by what I was tuning into around me, by conversations I was having with other people) that I was out of alignment with my Self, my values, and my goals, and it was time for an adjustment.  So, I made a conscious choice to slow down a little, and I developed a daily “routine” that allows time for me to focus on getting my top work priorities done, uninterrupted, for an hour or so each morning and afternoon, while leaving time throughout the day to spend quality time with my kids and still leave myself some ME-Time each day.  It was like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders and I could literally breathe easier.  (I once read that when we are stressed, our breathing becomes shorter and more shallow – No wonder we become exhausted!)  I have also decided to limit e-mail checking mostly to a time in the morning and one later in the day, rather than getting sucked into it every time I pass my desk.  I feel the change in me and I see it reflected in my kids.  They are content to keep themselves busy for that hour or so each morning and afternoon while I work uninterrupted (for the most part! J) because they know that they’ll have my attention for the remainder of the day.  Will this new approach always produce the perfectly balanced day – No, but it’s a definite step in the right direction for me.

I have also enlisted the kids’ help more around the house this summer – putting their own laundry away, folding towels, picking up after themselves, and their newest chore, which strangely they love (almost as much as I love them doing it!), unloading the dishwasher.  We have also made most meal preparations a family affair.  The girls love to help me cook!  I have been spending more quality time with my husband and the kids this past week, had more time to do some things for myself, and have still stayed pretty much on top of my work.  A few less things may be completed in a given timeframe, but I am enjoying my days and my work so much more again, and that is worth it to me.  I absolutely love my jobs as a mom and a business owner, and I will continue to approach balancing the two as an adjustable process that I tweak along the way so both work best for my family and me.

Most importantly, I did not beat myself up over straying from the balance I espouse to.  When I felt the scattered discomfort and noticed the shift away from balance, I chose to do something about it.  After all, there are no mistakes – only opportunities to learn and grow.

(Not me & my Dad, but absolutely captures “the look”)

The Father-Daughter dance at weddings is a time-held and beloved tradition that almost every daddy can’t help but imagine from the first time he holds his newborn baby girl in his arms! I know that I will never forget the look of love and pride I saw in my father’s eyes as his smile beamed and his eyes held back tears while we danced together on my own wedding day. And it is a memory that is ever-more precious since my Dad passed away 6 years ago. (Deep breath…, OK now.)

So with bridal season upon us, I thought I’d pay tribute to all of the Father-Daughter duos with this fun video link! (Warning: If you’re like me, any song about “Butterfly Kisses” gets me misty, so you may want a tissue handy for the first part! But be sure to keep watching past that…) Enjoy!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yLUghUmDrRA&feature=related

Live Positively Fulfilled!

Lynn Ely
MomEvolve
Inspiring Moms to Evolve TM
www.momevolve.com

Want help making your Self a priority in your life? Reconnect with your Self and reduce stress when you sign up for MomEvolve’s ME-zine.

I hope you had a wonderful Easter weekend with your families – I know we sure did! The Easter Bunny was very good to us! I can’t believe Spring Break is here and summer is coming up right behind it!

How would you like to cruise into summer this year calmly, confidently, and full of energy, knowing that you are finally making the changes you have been wanting to make that will free up your mom-schedule (not to mention your mom-sanity!) for enjoying more summertime fun with family and friends?

You absolutely can, and the best part is, you don’t have to go it alone!

Starting in May, MomEvolve is offering a fun and unique monthly coaching and community membership program for moms called The ME Connection, where moms connect and evolve!

The ME Connection is more than a coaching program. It is also a mom community – a sisterhood – for, about, and in support of today’s evolving moms. It is a program and a place in your life designed to help you connect with your Self, connect with other moms like you, connect with your goals and dreams, and connect with how you want to share your unique and amazing gifts with the world!

As a member of The ME Connection, you will have convenient access to valuable yet “digestible” information that you can easily fit into your busy mom-schedule, however works best for you personally, and you will receive the support you need to make the changes you want for yourself and your family.

And, not only is The ME Connection convenient , supportive, and transformational, it also is super-reasonably priced – you can join me and other like-minded evolving moms who want to begin taking action toward their goals, all for less than the cost of a couple of large lattes a week!

Cool Beans, huh?!

(Sorry, but I couldn’t resist!)

Click here to find out all of the exciting details of The ME Connection and reserve your spot for May. I look forward to connecting with you soon!

Live Positively Fulfilled!

Lynn Ely
The Evolving Moms Coach™

MomEvolve
Inspiring Moms to Evolve™