I hear it everywhere I go these days – “I am SO ready for Spring!”

From North to South and East to West, it seems to have been a colder than usual winter this year so far. Heck, it even snowed in the Carolina’s a couple of weeks ago!! Here’s a picture of my girls and their twin cousins thrilled by the initial flakes on the eve of their first snow ever – pretty magical!

As beautiful as a landscape of winter white can be, most of us are ready for the warmer weather to arrive and lure us outdoors so we can get rid our “winter weight” (anyone still working off those few last holiday pounds?) and get moving again! So MomEvolve is declaring March “Moms on the Move” month, and is encouraging all of us to begin shifting our focus toward the refreshing Spring season that is just around the corner.

I do want to share with you where the real inspiration for March as “Moms on the Move” month came from. I was inspired to make this declaration by a friend who, like so many other moms in so many varied ways, has found herself in a major life transition. Her specific life-change is that she is soon-to-be divorced and moving solo across country with her 3 young children. There is not a single aspect of her life that is going untouched by the humungo-changes taking place daily for her family.

In watching and supporting her transitions over the last few months, an amazing transformation has occurred for both of us, and I feel so blessed to have shared in this ever-broadening “A-Ha!” with her – the shedding of almost all of her material “stuff” has taken with it all of the internal weight and clutter that those external items carried with them. As we sat in her beautiful home one day, we realized we were surrounded by huge, heavy, cumbersome furniture , which would have been incredibly costly to move into the next cross-country chapter of her life. That was it – the lightbulb flashed on! All of this literally HEAVY stuff  represented her past and the weight of it that she was still carrying on her shoulders. At that moment, she was able to see it as what it really is – just stuff – and beyond that, stuff that no longer serves her and really (both internally and externally) has no place in the new life she is creating for herself as she moves forward!

So my dear friend is my inspiration for recognizing March as “Moms on the Move” month, in support of us busy moms shifting our focus toward shedding and letting go of our “stuff” so we can enjoy the soon-to-arrive refreshing Spring season. It’s time to start thinking about Spring Cleaning! Whether you are getting ready to relocate your family to a new home or are just looking to get your internal and external houses in order, let’s get moving!

It is time to wake-up from our winter “hibernation” and get ready to dance into Spring with renewed inspiration and invigoration! Let’s get ready now to Let Go and Get Moving in March!

Live Positively Fulfilled!

Lynn Ely
MomEvolve
Inspiring Moms to Evolve ™
www.momevolve.com

I recently listened to an excerpt from an interview with Deepak Chopra where he talked about how, all throughout the eons of evolution, episodes of punctuated disequilibrium and a proliferation of chaos (translation – overwhelming chaos and craziness!) lead to a quantum leap in creativity. Now, although he was talking about this in the context of broader universal terms, his insight can absolutely be applied to each one of us in our daily lives – especially in these turbulent and uncertain times, with all of the challenges they bring for us as moms.

I know for me, as a Mom Entrepreneur, my business thrives on my creativity, and when I have experienced times of fear and overwhelm (we all know those 3:00 AM “wake-up calls” where our minds are racing almost as fast as our hearts!), my creativity tends to come to a screeching halt. Let’s face it – as moms, all of the skeletons of self-doubts that we try to keep tucked away out of sight and out of mind tend to come tumbling out of the closet in times of difficulty or crisis. And I speak to both working- and stay-at-home moms daily, who have previously or are currently experiencing the same discomfort and the accompanying feelings of stress, tightness, pressure, and often downright panic that this overwhelming chaos and uncertainty can bring on.

Based on my own personal experiences, as well as what I have observed with other mom-friends, clients, and peers, Deepak Chopra’s wisdom is completely accurate! When I have allowed myself to just breathe during those times of paralyzing fear and overwhelm, and given myself the space to take a step back and take a literal mental and physical break from the panic (i.e., spending a day reading an inspiring book I’d been wanting to get to, or diving completely into some relaxing family-time, or focusing on some simple work activities that let me accomplish something, but without too much struggle or effort), I suddenly have all sorts of creative ideas, opportunities, and solutions flowing into my mind, and I find myself moving toward a way-better place then I had imagined when I was standing on the front-side of all of that fear and anxiety.

Now, I know this all sounds a little counter-intuitive and over-simplified, but I swear it is true, and it works! The next time you find yourself feeling like your back is up against the wall and you can feel that horribly heart-racing panic setting in, try to consciously take that step back, take that breather, and focus on doing something that makes your heart happy for even just a little bit. Focus on what you CAN do in this moment, and take it one little step at a time. Your conflicted feelings don’t define who you are, or make you unworthy, undeserving or somehow inadequate – it is a natural part of evolution… of you growing and shedding something that no longer serves you, to allow you to move forward toward something that has more meaning for who you are becoming and where you want to go!

Recognize your situation as simply a moment in time that you will absolutely make it through. And then, remember that you have the choice – the situation at hand is at hand, and you can either choose to remain in an awfully unpleasant and unproductive state of fear, or you can choose to see it as Deepak Chopra’s “punctuated disequilibrium” – a short-term moment of out-of-balance discomfort – that will help propel you forward to a place of increased creativity and new meaning that wouldn’t have come about otherwise!

Live Positively Fulfilled!

Lynn Ely
MomEvolve
Inspiring Moms to Evolve TM
www.momevolve.com

Yep – I made up a new word, and I think it’s a keeper!!

How often do you hear that little voice in your head say, “Now that’s inspiring!” or “What an inspiration she/he/that is!”

When you are inspired by something or someone, there is an opportunity there. Inspiration is our Inner-Self telling us that something we are seeing, hearing, or feeling is resonating with us – our values, priorities, goals, our connection to others and to something bigger than us. That’s your ME talking!

Are you listening? What is the opportunity you have, right then and there, to take inspired action (now a.k.a. inspiraction!)? How does this inspiration affect your next thoughts and choices in your day? How would your life be different today if you embraced that inspiration by taking inspiraction on the opportunities it is presenting to you in that moment?

And if you are having trouble hearing your ME during those inspired moments or find yourself resisting taking inspired action, pause for a moment and ask yourself why. Your inspirations are like your tickets to get on the ride you’ve been waiting in line for at the amusement park – it’s your turn, so what’s stopping you from getting on, enjoying the ride, and seeing where it takes you?

If you’re tired of just observing how inspiring something is and are ready, instead, to actively participate in that inspiration moving you forward in the direction that your ME is encouraging you to go, I am here to support you!  You can call or e-mail me (http://www.momevolve.com/contactlynn) today!

Feeling inspired is one thing – doing something with that inspiration is really Something Else!

Live Positively Fulfilled!

Lynn Ely
MomEvolve
Inspiring Moms to Evolve TM
www.momevolve.com

A Mom-friend recently shared this with me, and I wanted to share it with you. And remember, Your Doing A GREAT JOB, Mom!! So, relax and enjoy this moment, each day!

On Being Mom by Anna Quindlen

If not for the photographs, I might have a hard time
believing they ever existed. The pensive infant with
the swipe of dark bangs and the black button eyes of a
Raggedy Andy doll. The placid baby with the yellow
ringlets and the high piping voice. The sturdy toddler
with the lower lip that curled into an apostrophe
above her chin. ALL MY BABIES are gone now.

I say this not in sorrow but in disbelief. I take
great satisfaction in what I have today: three
almost-adults, two taller than I am, one closing in
fast. Three people who read the same books I do and
have learned not to be afraid of disagreeing with me
in their opinion of them, who sometimes tell vulgar
jokes that make me laugh until I choke and cry, who
need razor blades and shower gel and privacy, who want
to keep their doors closed more than I like.

Who, miraculously, go to the bathroom, zip up their
jackets and move food from plate to mouth all by
themselves. Like the trick soap I bought for the
bathroom with a rubber ducky at its center, the baby
is buried deep within each, barely discernible except
through the unreliable haze of the past.

Everything in all the books I once pored over is
finished for me now. Penelope Leach., T. Berry
Brazelton., Dr. Spock. The ones on sibling rivalry and
sleeping through the night and early-childhood
education, all grown obsolete.

Along with Goodnight Moon and Where the Wild Things
Are, they are battered, spotted, well used. But I
suspect that if you flipped the pages dust would rise
like memories.

What those books taught me, finally, and what the
women on the playground taught me, and the
well-meaning relations –what they taught me was that
they couldn’t really teach me very much at all.
Raising children is presented at first as a true-false
test, then becomes multiple choice, until finally, far
along, you realize that it is an endless essay. No one
knows anything. One child responds well to positive
reinforcement, another can be managed only with a
stern voice and a timeout. One boy is toilet trained
at 3, his brother at 2.

When my first child was born, parents were told to put
baby to bed on his belly so that he would not choke on
his own spit- up. By the time my last arrived, babies
were put down on their backs because of research on
sudden infant death syndrome. To a new parent this
ever-shifting certainty is terrifying, and then
soothing.

Eventually you must learn to trust yourself.
Eventually the research will follow.

I remember 15 years ago poring over one of Dr.
Brazelton’s wonderful books on child development, in
which he describes three different sorts of infants:
average, quiet, and active. I was looking for a
sub-quiet codicil for an 18-month-old who did not
walk. Was there something wrong with his fat little
legs? Was there something wrong with his tiny little
mind? Was he developmentally delayed, physically
challenged? Was I insane? Last year he went to China.
Next year he goes to college. He can talk just fine.
He can walk, too.

Every part of raising children is humbling, too.
Believe me, mistakes were made. They have all been
enshrined in the Remember-When-Mom-Did Hall of Fame.
The outbursts, the temper tantrums, the bad language,
mine, not theirs. The times the baby fell off the bed.
The times I arrived late for preschool pickup. The
nightmare sleepover. The horrible summer camp. The day
when the youngest came barreling out of the classroom
with a 98 on her geography test, and I responded, What
did you get wrong? (She insisted I include that.) The
time I ordered food at the McDonald’s drive-through
speaker and then drove away without picking it up from
the window. (They all insisted I include that.) I did
not allow them to watch the Simpsons for the first two
seasons.

What was I thinking?

But the biggest mistake I made is the one that most of
us make while doing this. I did not live in the moment
enough. This is particularly clear now that the moment
is gone, captured only in photographs. There is one
picture of the three of them sitting in the grass on a
quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day,
ages 6, 4 and 1. And I wish I could remember what we
ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded,
and how they looked when they slept that night. I wish
I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next
thing: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured
the doing a little more and the getting it done a
little less.

Even today I’m not sure what worked and what didn’t,
what was me and what was simply life. When they were
very small, I suppose I thought someday they would
become who they were because of what I’d done. Now I
suspect they simply grew into their true selves
because they demanded in a thousand ways that I back
off and let them be.

The books said to be relaxed and I was often tense,
matter-of-fact and I was sometimes over the top. And
look how it all turned out. I wound up with the three
people I like best in the world, who have done more
than anyone to excavate my essential humanity. That’s
what the books never told me. I was bound and
determined to learn from the experts.

It just took me a while to figure out who the experts
were.

Live Positively Fulfilled!

Lynn Ely
MomEvolve
Inspiring Moms to Evolve TM
www.momevolve.com

Although it feels good to get things done – especially things that feel as though they’ve been hanging over your head and placing extra weight on your shoulders – remember this very important thing: The mom who checks off the most To-Do’s at the end of her day is not declared the winner!

Motherhood is not a race nor a competition, so putting pressure on yourself to run the hardest and the fastest, day after day, is not only completely unnecessary, it is a sure-fire recipe for burn-out, overwhelm, and a lot of self-criticism.

Your To-Do list is just that – a list of things you can choose to do… or not to do… the choice is yours. But, your To-Do’s do not define you. Please allow me to repeat that, because it really is so important: Your To-Do’s do not define who you are. As moms, we can get so caught up in what we did or didn’t get done in a day, that we start to beat ourselves up with critical self-judgments and self-doubts when we don’t feel like we checked enough To-Do’s off by day’s end. When we use our To-Do list as a tool to measure how we feel we “stack-up” up against our own and others’ expectations, we are basing our self-worth on our To-Do progress. And when we do this, to quote an old song, we’re “looking for love in all the wrong places!”

On any given day, what you offer as a mom and a woman goes so way beyond any agenda item or To-Do task! When was the last time you patted yourself on the back and celebrated that you were there to comfort your child or a friend when she needed reassurance, or that your children knew they were loved when you tucked them in at night, or that your child was kind to another child at school because of the love and values that you share with him so freely all day every day?

Take the time to honor, acknowledge, congratulate, and love yourself each day – truly and deeply – for all of the incredible ways you share your Self and your unique gifts with others daily. You make a huge difference in the lives of others and the world every day, just by being a loving mom, in ways that have nothing to do with your To-Do’s. The best way to show love to our children is to show love to ourselves, so take time daily to acknowledge that “You’re doing a GREAT job, Mom!”, regardless of how many To-Do’s you happened to check off today.

Live Positively Fulfilled!

Lynn Ely
MomEvolve
Inspiring Moms to Evolve TM
www.momevolve.com

“You will never change your life until you change something you do daily.  The secret of your success is found in your daily routine.”  - John C. Maxwell

Think about a change that you have been wanting to make in your life, but just haven’t been able to get around to.  Now, take a moment and ask yourself, “What’s been stopping me?”  Could it be that you are trying to “swallow the whole elephant in a single bite”, as the saying goes?  Although it is important, and can be very helpful, to have a larger end goal in mind when we think of changes we would like to make in our lives, try not to let that big picture be a source of overwhelm and anxiety that prevents you from moving forward toward the changes you would like to create for yourself.

Rather, begin by thinking in terms of a smaller action item that is within your control and capability at this moment, or within the next week.  Then actually take the time to commit to that action as a “To-Do” on your agenda/calendar, as well as allotting what seems to be an appropriate time allowance for completing that one step (and maybe even build in a little extra wiggle-room with that time allotment, so you don’t create more pressure for yourself).  Then, just do it!

Once that step is complete, you can commit to the next “do-able” step, and so on.  Look for opportunities that work easily into your existing daily routines to start with.  Beginning a new habit and or creating change in your life is like going to the gym and building muscle – it takes time and commitment, and each time you stretch your parameters a little and push yourself just a little more past your prior comfort zone, your muscle gets stronger and more powerful, until that initially challenging task is a simple and comfortable part of your evolving routine.

What is one action step you can incorporate today into your daily routine that will get you moving forward toward a bigger, long term goal you desire for yourself?

Live Positively Fulfilled!

Lynn Ely
MomEvolve
Inspiring Moms to Evolve TM
www.momevolve.com

I read an article today about the lost “art” of the hand-written thank you note.  With all of the e-mailing, texting, and instant messaging we have at our fingertips, it is easy to overlook the simple kindness of a hand-written note.  Today especially, it is like telling someone that they are worth your time and effort to take a few moments out of your busy day for a personal “Thank You”.

This got me thinking about how I used to regularly leave my daughters little love notes on their pillows for them to discover unexpectedly upon returning home from school or when turning in for the night.  They were always very excited to find those little notes, and they appreciated them so much, that they saved them and still have some of them on their ribbon boards and in “secret-special –hiding-spots” today.

I still send an occasional surprise note in their lunch box, which always makes them smile, and leave little pillow-messages once in a while.  But, I was trying to think of a way to liven things up a little with today’s handwritten note inspiration.  I thought of how much my girls enjoy receiving birthday and holiday cards in the mail, and I got an idea… this week, I am going to mail each one of them a “love note” sharing what I think is so uniquely wonderful about them.   I’m excited to send them their notes, and I know they will be thrilled to receive them!  Won’t you join me in sending your child a “Snail Mail Smile” this week?

Live Positively Fulfilled!

Lynn Ely
MomEvolve
Inspiring Moms to Evolve TM
www.momevolve.com

I saw this poem in our church bulletin this week, and I thought it reflected how we moms have all felt at one time or another (or much more often!). Yet, it also reminds us that there is always a reason to give thanks! So I’d like to share it with you during this week when our focus turns toward sharing gratitude.

Even though I clutch my blanket and growl
when the alarm rings each morning,
Thank you Lord, that I can hear –
There are those who are deaf.

Even though I keep my eyes tightly closed
against the morning lights as long as possible,
Thank you Lord, that I can see –
There are those who are blind.

Even though I huddle in my bed
and put off the physical effort of rising,
Thank you Lord, that I have the strength to rise –
There are many who are bedfast.

Even though the first hour of my day is hectic
when socks are lost, toast is burned
And tempers are short,
Thank you Lord, for my family –
There are many who are lonely.

Even though our breakfast table never looks like
the pictures in the ladies magazines
and the menu is at times unbalanced,
Thank you, Lord, for the food we have –
There are many who are hungry.

Even though the routine
of my job is often monotonous,
Thank you Lord, for the opportunity to work –
There are many who have no work.

Even though I grumble and bemoan
my fate from day to day
and wish my modest circumstances
were not quite so modest…
I thank you Lord, for the gift of Life!

About this time of year, our thoughts start turning towards the excitement of the upcoming Holidays.  For many of us, although the temperatures outside are starting to steadily decrease, the approaching holidays can send our stress levels soaring.  Equally, if not more nerve-racking, can be our worries and guilt over all the things we didn’t get done this year… and so the list of New Year’s Resolutions begins.  This year, instead of creating a list, how about creating a vision?

Develop a clear vision for yourself of what you want your life to look like in the upcoming New Year.  It can be very empowering and inspirational to take the time to gain clarity about what it is you want in your future, to believe you can have it, and to commit to, not only making it happen, but truly being open to and excited about it happening.  For many people, it is helpful to create a vision board that captures all of their dreams and longer-term aspirations with pictures, words, and mementos.  Then they can post their completed vision board in a place where they will see it daily, drawing inspiration from it to keep them on track and moving forward.  At the very least, you may want to write down your vision for your ideal life, perhaps in a journal.  By writing it down, you give form and validity to those thoughts.  Be very specific – What does your ideal life look, feel, taste, sound, and smell like?  What are you doing on any given day in that life – with your family, job, friends, and free time?  What do your surroundings look like – your home, office, car, yard, vacations?  Don’t hold back – it’s your ideal, so the sky is the limit.  Visioning can be very fun, and the positive energy that results can be just what we need to gain the courage to take that first step, even a tiny baby step for starters, toward our ideal life.

What is your vision for your ideal life in 2010?  Have fun with it – the choice is yours!

“In order to know the light, we must first experience the darkness.” – Jung

Some of our biggest opportunities may lie in what we are currently experiencing as our biggest challenges. When things don’t go exactly as we hoped or something happens in our life that is very upsetting to us, it is only natural to initially feel sad, disappointed, anxious, or even downright fearful. But, what if we were able to choose not to suffer as an automatic consequence of an unexpected and, perhaps initially, undesirable circumstance? What if, instead, we look for the purpose and opportunity in the situation? When we experience a challenge or setback, we have the choice to either remain in an emotionally reactive state, and, in doing so, remain a victim of the circumstances, prolonging our suffering; or, we can take a step back, take a deep breath, and try to get to a more objective place for assessing and addressing the situation.

Attempt to find purpose in the situation – What if this were actually the ideal way for this situation to have occurred in our life? What is my experience of this situation telling me about myself? About others? Maybe it is telling us it’s time to do things differently. Perhaps there is an even better opportunity for us that this one is making way for, if we allow ourselves to be open to the possibilities. Is there a creative approach that could make the situation more palatable, or better yet, give rise to a solution or options we wouldn’t even have considered previously? How can our reaction to and handling of this challenge serve as a role model to others, especially our children?

Now I know our first response to these suggestions for shifting our perspectives in the face of challenge may elicit an “easier said than done” response. And that may very well be true… at first. But, the more you practice looking at all situations in your life as opportunities, the easier it will become – the less emotionally reactive you’ll feel, the more control you’ll experience through knowing you have the power to choose how you do react and move forward, and the more quickly you will bounce back and leap ahead the next time you are faced with a challenge or disappointment.

Every one of us will experience situations in our lives that are painful and may even knock the wind out of us at first – that is just part of living. But, how we choose to move forward from that point absolutely involves our choice. Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.