Our thoughts receive their power from the energy we feed them. That energy comes from our making the choice to focus on those thoughts, and giving them space and time in our day. So, it is also our choice whether or not we are going to continue to feed those thoughts, or withhold our energy from them and let them fizzle and expire, as we shift that now available energy to more positive thoughts that better serve us.

While working with a client recently, I suggested she think of her thoughts of mom-guilt and worry as having an electrical cord that flows from her mind to her heart and feelings. (We all know how that cord can really tug at the old “heart strings” and make us feel like less than Mother of the Year material!) We discussed how, when she is having thoughts of guilt and worry, she can try to envision actually physically moving those thoughts to outside of herself. Then, she can see the electrical cord that is keeping that now external object tied and tethered to her heart and feelings and unplug it. It’s like picking up an old lamp or outdated small electrical appliance, unplugging it, and tossing it to the curb on garbage day! Isn’t that an “em-power-ing” image and feeling!!

In doing so, she stops feeding those self-critical thoughts with her focus and energy – she can step back and separate herself from them, and she can consciously choose not to plug back in.

What obsolete thoughts are currently consuming your energy that you are ready to unplug from? We moms are busy enough, without wasting our energy on thoughts and patterns that no longer serve us. You can start creating your own personal energy “conservation plan” today! Kick that energy-draining old stuff to the curb and watch your Self light up!

Live Positively Fulfilled!

Lynn Ely
MomEvolve
Inspiring Moms to Evolve TM
www.momevolve.com

Want help making your Self a priority in your life? Reconnect with your Self and reduce stress when you sign up for MomEvolve’s ME-zine.

The end-of-the-school-year crunch!  The standardized tests for the kids in school, the music and dance recitals, end-of-the-year field trips and class parties, graduations (Pre-K…Kindergarten…Elementary… Middle School… High School…College!), teacher conferences, Summer Kick-off parties, final exams…  And all this on top of our normally busy mom schedules!  How can we enter into this crazy end-of-the-school-year phase without our heads completely spinning off trying to keep track of everything and get it all done?  Here are some tips that should help:

1)      Pull all of the end-of-the-year info together in one place – all those school newsletters, daily notes in your kids’ agendas, the PTA e-mails, the invitations, the rainbow-assortment of Post-It notes you’ve stuck up throughout the house as reminders… and don’t forget to check with the kids to be sure there isn’t one last permission slip or class handout nearly forgotten in their backpack.  But be careful, as you may not have peeked in there since Christmas Break, and you never know what uneaten lunch bits or way over-due library books may be lurking in the depths of their backpacks!  Designate a time to sit down and get everything organized.  Lay everything out, sort by chronological order, check for potential conflicts/double-bookings, and then start entering each event/commitment into your calendar.

2)      Be sure you’ve RSVP’d on any items that requested you to do so.  And if you’ve missed any RSVP deadlines, consider contacting the sender with an apology.  Chances are, the sender is also living within the depths of end-of the-year-school year craziness and would understand your oversight, as well as appreciate your thoughtfulness of taking the time to follow-up.

3)      As you enter items on your calendar, do so keeping simplification in the forefront of your mind.  Do you have a friend who you could plan to take turns car-pooling with?  What events require your attendance?  Could you tradeoff with your spouse/partner for a couple of field trips?  If any of the events require you to shop and send goodies into school, place a reminder on your calendar for a few days prior to the event so you aren’t scurrying out to the 24-hour grocery store in your PJs the night before when you realize you haven’t baked the brownies yet and all you have in your fridge are left-overs and ketchup packets!  (Although, it is amazing what kind of creative “treats” moms can pull together from their existing pantry-stash in a pinch!)

4)      Since you are in scheduling-mode, remember to schedule some time for yourself during that already booked month, preferably 2-3 x/week.  (Shoot for that and if you stick to 1-2x/week, you’ll still feel good about it!)  If it is on your calendar, you’re more likely to do it.  Even better, include a friend in the plan so you can hold each other accountable for that Tuesday morning coffee date, movie night, wine on the porch, or even just a get-away-from-it-all walk together.  You owe it to yourself and your family to take a little break so you can dive back into your week feeling more refreshed, more positive, and more energized about the rest of your commitments.

5)      Make sure to get to bed at a decent hour.  As tempting as it may be to burn the midnight oil and get as much as possible done while the kids are asleep, if you wear yourself down too much, you may end up in bed sick for those events you most want to attend.  O.K., all of us moms know that’s just a phrase – “sick in bed” – you won’t be in bed at all;  you’ll be running around with your box of tissues, germ gel, cough drops, and feeling miserable, so that’s even more of an incentive to take care of yourself!!  Even if you don’t end up getting sick, when you are over-tired, your patience is shorter, and your ability to keep it all straight goes down the drain, so try to get to bed at a semi-decent hour.

6)      Finally, remember that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and you will make it through to the other side!  The end-of-the-school-year crazies are temporary and you can shift down to only full-throttle once the “Lazy” days of summer begin.  (By the way, whoever wrote that old song “Summertime, and the Living is Easy” must have lived long before summer camps and playdates!)  So try to take it all in stride and enjoy yourself!  Speaking of summer, have you remembered to schedule-in signing the kids up for all their summer activities?!  A-a-a-and we’re off…!!

Live Positively Fulfilled!

Lynn Ely
MomEvolve
Inspiring Moms to Evolve TM
www.momevolve.com

Want help making your Self a priority in your life? Reconnect with your Self and reduce stress when you sign up for MomEvolve’s ME-zine.

I have been making sure to check in regularly with my feelings throughout each day – tuning into the joy and happy anticipation that all of these opportunities bring with them, for me, my family, and others. This awareness of my own feelings has brought to mind an age-old question for me – “How are you feeling?”  Now, I don’t mean this in the rhetorical, every day manner that this question is often nonchalantly tossed around, but literally – How are you feeling?

When you ask yourself that question and your response is that you are feeling more “glass half empty” than sing-it-from-the-rooftops “glass overflowing”, consider giving this little exercise a try…

Instead of trying to go from OK to Awesome on the happiness scale in one huge leap, how about taking it one tiny notch at a time?  This takes us tuning our attention into our feelings in a very focused way.  Literally ask yourself, “How am I feeling right now?”  Really stop, tune inward, and FEEL for a moment.  If you are not feeling as happy as you’d ideally desire, ask yourself, “What is one feel-good, happy thought I can focus on that will help me feel at least 1 “notch” better than I currently do?”  Then, focus on that thought for a moment.  Any “warm-fuzzy” thought can work.  Especially easy is one simple thing you are grateful for right now.  Did your happiness-meter go up a notch?

Just your awareness that you can choose in the moment to increase your feel-good quotient is a very powerful tool.  And, each time you choose to use it, you’ll become more comfortable with it, so that, with a little practice, you’ll naturally tune into your feelings regularly and be able to consciously “fill your glass” a little whenever you choose to!

Live Positively Fulfilled!

Lynn Ely
MomEvolve
Inspiring Moms to Evolve TM
www.momevolve.com

From North to South and East to West, it seems to have been a colder than usual winter this year so far. Heck, it even snowed in the Carolina’s a couple of weeks ago!! Here’s a picture of my girls and their twin cousins thrilled by the initial flakes on the eve of their first snow ever – pretty magical!

As beautiful as a landscape of winter white can be, most of us are ready for the warmer weather to arrive and lure us outdoors so we can get rid our “winter weight” (anyone still working off those few last holiday pounds?) and get moving again! So MomEvolve is declaring March “Moms on the Move” month, and is encouraging all of us to begin shifting our focus toward the refreshing Spring season that is just around the corner.

I do want to share with you where the real inspiration for March as “Moms on the Move” month came from. I was inspired to make this declaration by a friend who, like so many other moms in so many varied ways, has found herself in a major life transition. Her specific life-change is that she is soon-to-be divorced and moving solo across country with her 3 young children. There is not a single aspect of her life that is going untouched by the humungo-changes taking place daily for her family.

In watching and supporting her transitions over the last few months, an amazing transformation has occurred for both of us, and I feel so blessed to have shared in this ever-broadening “A-Ha!” with her – the shedding of almost all of her material “stuff” has taken with it all of the internal weight and clutter that those external items carried with them. As we sat in her beautiful home one day, we realized we were surrounded by huge, heavy, cumbersome furniture , which would have been incredibly costly to move into the next cross-country chapter of her life. That was it – the lightbulb flashed on! All of this literally HEAVY stuff  represented her past and the weight of it that she was still carrying on her shoulders. At that moment, she was able to see it as what it really is – just stuff – and beyond that, stuff that no longer serves her and really (both internally and externally) has no place in the new life she is creating for herself as she moves forward!

So my dear friend is my inspiration for recognizing March as “Moms on the Move” month, in support of us busy moms shifting our focus toward shedding and letting go of our “stuff” so we can enjoy the soon-to-arrive refreshing Spring season. It’s time to start thinking about Spring Cleaning! Whether you are getting ready to relocate your family to a new home or are just looking to get your internal and external houses in order, let’s get moving!

It is time to wake-up from our winter “hibernation” and get ready to dance into Spring with renewed inspiration and invigoration! Let’s get ready now to Let Go and Get Moving in March!

Live Positively Fulfilled!

Lynn Ely
MomEvolve
Inspiring Moms to Evolve ™
www.momevolve.com

I know for me, as a Mom Entrepreneur, my business thrives on my creativity, and when I have experienced times of fear and overwhelm (we all know those 3:00 AM “wake-up calls” where our minds are racing almost as fast as our hearts!), my creativity tends to come to a screeching halt. Let’s face it – as moms, all of the skeletons of self-doubts that we try to keep tucked away out of sight and out of mind tend to come tumbling out of the closet in times of difficulty or crisis. And I speak to both working- and stay-at-home moms daily, who have previously or are currently experiencing the same discomfort and the accompanying feelings of stress, tightness, pressure, and often downright panic that this overwhelming chaos and uncertainty can bring on.

Based on my own personal experiences, as well as what I have observed with other mom-friends, clients, and peers, Deepak Chopra’s wisdom is completely accurate! When I have allowed myself to just breathe during those times of paralyzing fear and overwhelm, and given myself the space to take a step back and take a literal mental and physical break from the panic (i.e., spending a day reading an inspiring book I’d been wanting to get to, or diving completely into some relaxing family-time, or focusing on some simple work activities that let me accomplish something, but without too much struggle or effort), I suddenly have all sorts of creative ideas, opportunities, and solutions flowing into my mind, and I find myself moving toward a way-better place then I had imagined when I was standing on the front-side of all of that fear and anxiety.

Now, I know this all sounds a little counter-intuitive and over-simplified, but I swear it is true, and it works! The next time you find yourself feeling like your back is up against the wall and you can feel that horribly heart-racing panic setting in, try to consciously take that step back, take that breather, and focus on doing something that makes your heart happy for even just a little bit. Focus on what you CAN do in this moment, and take it one little step at a time. Your conflicted feelings don’t define who you are, or make you unworthy, undeserving or somehow inadequate – it is a natural part of evolution… of you growing and shedding something that no longer serves you, to allow you to move forward toward something that has more meaning for who you are becoming and where you want to go!

Recognize your situation as simply a moment in time that you will absolutely make it through. And then, remember that you have the choice – the situation at hand is at hand, and you can either choose to remain in an awfully unpleasant and unproductive state of fear, or you can choose to see it as Deepak Chopra’s “punctuated disequilibrium” – a short-term moment of out-of-balance discomfort – that will help propel you forward to a place of increased creativity and new meaning that wouldn’t have come about otherwise!

Live Positively Fulfilled!

Lynn Ely
MomEvolve
Inspiring Moms to Evolve TM
www.momevolve.com

How often do you hear that little voice in your head say, “Now that’s inspiring!” or “What an inspiration she/he/that is!”

When you are inspired by something or someone, there is an opportunity there. Inspiration is our Inner-Self telling us that something we are seeing, hearing, or feeling is resonating with us – our values, priorities, goals, our connection to others and to something bigger than us. That’s your ME talking!

Are you listening? What is the opportunity you have, right then and there, to take inspired action (now a.k.a. inspiraction!)? How does this inspiration affect your next thoughts and choices in your day? How would your life be different today if you embraced that inspiration by taking inspiraction on the opportunities it is presenting to you in that moment?

And if you are having trouble hearing your ME during those inspired moments or find yourself resisting taking inspired action, pause for a moment and ask yourself why. Your inspirations are like your tickets to get on the ride you’ve been waiting in line for at the amusement park – it’s your turn, so what’s stopping you from getting on, enjoying the ride, and seeing where it takes you?

If you’re tired of just observing how inspiring something is and are ready, instead, to actively participate in that inspiration moving you forward in the direction that your ME is encouraging you to go, I am here to support you!  You can call or e-mail me (http://www.momevolve.com/contactlynn) today!

Feeling inspired is one thing – doing something with that inspiration is really Something Else!

Live Positively Fulfilled!

Lynn Ely
MomEvolve
Inspiring Moms to Evolve TM
www.momevolve.com

On Being Mom by Anna Quindlen

If not for the photographs, I might have a hard time
believing they ever existed. The pensive infant with
the swipe of dark bangs and the black button eyes of a
Raggedy Andy doll. The placid baby with the yellow
ringlets and the high piping voice. The sturdy toddler
with the lower lip that curled into an apostrophe
above her chin. ALL MY BABIES are gone now.

I say this not in sorrow but in disbelief. I take
great satisfaction in what I have today: three
almost-adults, two taller than I am, one closing in
fast. Three people who read the same books I do and
have learned not to be afraid of disagreeing with me
in their opinion of them, who sometimes tell vulgar
jokes that make me laugh until I choke and cry, who
need razor blades and shower gel and privacy, who want
to keep their doors closed more than I like.

Who, miraculously, go to the bathroom, zip up their
jackets and move food from plate to mouth all by
themselves. Like the trick soap I bought for the
bathroom with a rubber ducky at its center, the baby
is buried deep within each, barely discernible except
through the unreliable haze of the past.

Everything in all the books I once pored over is
finished for me now. Penelope Leach., T. Berry
Brazelton., Dr. Spock. The ones on sibling rivalry and
sleeping through the night and early-childhood
education, all grown obsolete.

Along with Goodnight Moon and Where the Wild Things
Are, they are battered, spotted, well used. But I
suspect that if you flipped the pages dust would rise
like memories.

What those books taught me, finally, and what the
women on the playground taught me, and the
well-meaning relations –what they taught me was that
they couldn’t really teach me very much at all.
Raising children is presented at first as a true-false
test, then becomes multiple choice, until finally, far
along, you realize that it is an endless essay. No one
knows anything. One child responds well to positive
reinforcement, another can be managed only with a
stern voice and a timeout. One boy is toilet trained
at 3, his brother at 2.

When my first child was born, parents were told to put
baby to bed on his belly so that he would not choke on
his own spit- up. By the time my last arrived, babies
were put down on their backs because of research on
sudden infant death syndrome. To a new parent this
ever-shifting certainty is terrifying, and then
soothing.

Eventually you must learn to trust yourself.
Eventually the research will follow.

I remember 15 years ago poring over one of Dr.
Brazelton’s wonderful books on child development, in
which he describes three different sorts of infants:
average, quiet, and active. I was looking for a
sub-quiet codicil for an 18-month-old who did not
walk. Was there something wrong with his fat little
legs? Was there something wrong with his tiny little
mind? Was he developmentally delayed, physically
challenged? Was I insane? Last year he went to China.
Next year he goes to college. He can talk just fine.
He can walk, too.

Every part of raising children is humbling, too.
Believe me, mistakes were made. They have all been
enshrined in the Remember-When-Mom-Did Hall of Fame.
The outbursts, the temper tantrums, the bad language,
mine, not theirs. The times the baby fell off the bed.
The times I arrived late for preschool pickup. The
nightmare sleepover. The horrible summer camp. The day
when the youngest came barreling out of the classroom
with a 98 on her geography test, and I responded, What
did you get wrong? (She insisted I include that.) The
time I ordered food at the McDonald’s drive-through
speaker and then drove away without picking it up from
the window. (They all insisted I include that.) I did
not allow them to watch the Simpsons for the first two
seasons.

What was I thinking?

But the biggest mistake I made is the one that most of
us make while doing this. I did not live in the moment
enough. This is particularly clear now that the moment
is gone, captured only in photographs. There is one
picture of the three of them sitting in the grass on a
quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day,
ages 6, 4 and 1. And I wish I could remember what we
ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded,
and how they looked when they slept that night. I wish
I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next
thing: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured
the doing a little more and the getting it done a
little less.

Even today I’m not sure what worked and what didn’t,
what was me and what was simply life. When they were
very small, I suppose I thought someday they would
become who they were because of what I’d done. Now I
suspect they simply grew into their true selves
because they demanded in a thousand ways that I back
off and let them be.

The books said to be relaxed and I was often tense,
matter-of-fact and I was sometimes over the top. And
look how it all turned out. I wound up with the three
people I like best in the world, who have done more
than anyone to excavate my essential humanity. That’s
what the books never told me. I was bound and
determined to learn from the experts.

It just took me a while to figure out who the experts
were.

Live Positively Fulfilled!

Lynn Ely
MomEvolve
Inspiring Moms to Evolve TM
www.momevolve.com

Motherhood is not a race nor a competition, so putting pressure on yourself to run the hardest and the fastest, day after day, is not only completely unnecessary, it is a sure-fire recipe for burn-out, overwhelm, and a lot of self-criticism.

Your To-Do list is just that – a list of things you can choose to do… or not to do… the choice is yours. But, your To-Do’s do not define you. Please allow me to repeat that, because it really is so important: Your To-Do’s do not define who you are. As moms, we can get so caught up in what we did or didn’t get done in a day, that we start to beat ourselves up with critical self-judgments and self-doubts when we don’t feel like we checked enough To-Do’s off by day’s end. When we use our To-Do list as a tool to measure how we feel we “stack-up” up against our own and others’ expectations, we are basing our self-worth on our To-Do progress. And when we do this, to quote an old song, we’re “looking for love in all the wrong places!”

On any given day, what you offer as a mom and a woman goes so way beyond any agenda item or To-Do task! When was the last time you patted yourself on the back and celebrated that you were there to comfort your child or a friend when she needed reassurance, or that your children knew they were loved when you tucked them in at night, or that your child was kind to another child at school because of the love and values that you share with him so freely all day every day?

Take the time to honor, acknowledge, congratulate, and love yourself each day – truly and deeply – for all of the incredible ways you share your Self and your unique gifts with others daily. You make a huge difference in the lives of others and the world every day, just by being a loving mom, in ways that have nothing to do with your To-Do’s. The best way to show love to our children is to show love to ourselves, so take time daily to acknowledge that “You’re doing a GREAT job, Mom!”, regardless of how many To-Do’s you happened to check off today.

Live Positively Fulfilled!

Lynn Ely
MomEvolve
Inspiring Moms to Evolve TM
www.momevolve.com

“You will never change your life until you change something you do daily.  The secret of your success is found in your daily routine.”  - John C. Maxwell

Think about a change that you have been wanting to make in your life, but just haven’t been able to get around to.  Now, take a moment and ask yourself, “What’s been stopping me?”  Could it be that you are trying to “swallow the whole elephant in a single bite”, as the saying goes?  Although it is important, and can be very helpful, to have a larger end goal in mind when we think of changes we would like to make in our lives, try not to let that big picture be a source of overwhelm and anxiety that prevents you from moving forward toward the changes you would like to create for yourself.

Rather, begin by thinking in terms of a smaller action item that is within your control and capability at this moment, or within the next week.  Then actually take the time to commit to that action as a “To-Do” on your agenda/calendar, as well as allotting what seems to be an appropriate time allowance for completing that one step (and maybe even build in a little extra wiggle-room with that time allotment, so you don’t create more pressure for yourself).  Then, just do it!

Once that step is complete, you can commit to the next “do-able” step, and so on.  Look for opportunities that work easily into your existing daily routines to start with.  Beginning a new habit and or creating change in your life is like going to the gym and building muscle – it takes time and commitment, and each time you stretch your parameters a little and push yourself just a little more past your prior comfort zone, your muscle gets stronger and more powerful, until that initially challenging task is a simple and comfortable part of your evolving routine.

What is one action step you can incorporate today into your daily routine that will get you moving forward toward a bigger, long term goal you desire for yourself?

Live Positively Fulfilled!

Lynn Ely
MomEvolve
Inspiring Moms to Evolve TM
www.momevolve.com

I read an article today about the lost “art” of the hand-written thank you note.  With all of the e-mailing, texting, and instant messaging we have at our fingertips, it is easy to overlook the simple kindness of a hand-written note.  Today especially, it is like telling someone that they are worth your time and effort to take a few moments out of your busy day for a personal “Thank You”.

This got me thinking about how I used to regularly leave my daughters little love notes on their pillows for them to discover unexpectedly upon returning home from school or when turning in for the night.  They were always very excited to find those little notes, and they appreciated them so much, that they saved them and still have some of them on their ribbon boards and in “secret-special –hiding-spots” today.

I still send an occasional surprise note in their lunch box, which always makes them smile, and leave little pillow-messages once in a while.  But, I was trying to think of a way to liven things up a little with today’s handwritten note inspiration.  I thought of how much my girls enjoy receiving birthday and holiday cards in the mail, and I got an idea… this week, I am going to mail each one of them a “love note” sharing what I think is so uniquely wonderful about them.   I’m excited to send them their notes, and I know they will be thrilled to receive them!  Won’t you join me in sending your child a “Snail Mail Smile” this week?

Live Positively Fulfilled!

Lynn Ely
MomEvolve
Inspiring Moms to Evolve TM
www.momevolve.com