“In order to know the light, we must first experience the darkness.” – Jung

Some of our biggest opportunities may lie in what we are currently experiencing as our biggest challenges. When things don’t go exactly as we hoped or something happens in our life that is very upsetting to us, it is only natural to initially feel sad, disappointed, anxious, or even downright fearful. But, what if we were able to choose not to suffer as an automatic consequence of an unexpected and, perhaps initially, undesirable circumstance? What if, instead, we look for the purpose and opportunity in the situation? When we experience a challenge or setback, we have the choice to either remain in an emotionally reactive state, and, in doing so, remain a victim of the circumstances, prolonging our suffering; or, we can take a step back, take a deep breath, and try to get to a more objective place for assessing and addressing the situation.

Attempt to find purpose in the situation – What if this were actually the ideal way for this situation to have occurred in our life? What is my experience of this situation telling me about myself? About others? Maybe it is telling us it’s time to do things differently. Perhaps there is an even better opportunity for us that this one is making way for, if we allow ourselves to be open to the possibilities. Is there a creative approach that could make the situation more palatable, or better yet, give rise to a solution or options we wouldn’t even have considered previously? How can our reaction to and handling of this challenge serve as a role model to others, especially our children?

Now I know our first response to these suggestions for shifting our perspectives in the face of challenge may elicit an “easier said than done” response. And that may very well be true… at first. But, the more you practice looking at all situations in your life as opportunities, the easier it will become – the less emotionally reactive you’ll feel, the more control you’ll experience through knowing you have the power to choose how you do react and move forward, and the more quickly you will bounce back and leap ahead the next time you are faced with a challenge or disappointment.

Every one of us will experience situations in our lives that are painful and may even knock the wind out of us at first – that is just part of living. But, how we choose to move forward from that point absolutely involves our choice. Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.